I thought I was weird...or special. But I also thought I was special when Costa Ricans refer to me as, "mi amor," or Chileans and Argentinians refer to me as, "corazón." I thought, "Wow! These people really like me!" Until I had the realization that these are names that all their fellow countrymen use and mean nothing as far as a term of endearment. Or, as my Argentinian friend, Rulo, told me, in between a fit of contagious giggles, "We call women corazón because we can't remember what their names are." Even the border patrol agent, on the Panama-Costa Rica border called me "mi amor" once. Can you imagine crossing from Canada back into the states and the border patrol person calling you "my love?" Are you imagining it? Impossible, right?
But you know what? I'm not here to talk to you about palabras en español (words in Spanish). No, my love, I am here to talk to you about chocolate and why I sneeze every time I eat it. I took a tour of a cacao farm when I was still living in Puerto Viejo and Paul, the owner and tour guide, mentioned that there is a percentage of people in the world where chocolate induces sneezing and it's not an allergy. I was astounded! There are other people in the world just like me who experience this strange phenomenon? I immediately conjured up a Chocolate Sneezing Convention in my mind. Oh my gosh, I could organize an entire weekend event with people who have just as strange a reaction as I do. We could sit around in a banquet hall in a hotel and eat chocolate and sneeze together.
|A cacao bean is purple on the inside, chock full of anti-oxidants.|
Normally, this is all well and good, however, sometimes when one sneezes it can be so forceful that it causes you to pass gas as well. Unfortunately, this happened to me when I went on a date many months ago when I was living in Tulum. We had split a brownie for dessert and of course, I sneezed and simultaneously, very unexpectedly, farted. Thankfully he laughed, almost for too long, but I sat in an embarrassed stupor for the rest of dessert simply because he was a suave Italian and Italians are so refined with their stain-free white linen pants, perfectly coiffed hair, secure in the knowledge that they know what real gelato is. They are the only brand of men that can wear a man-purse, or as I like to refer to it as a "murse," and look genuinely manly while doing so.
But I digress. I don't mind the orgasms of my face so long as they don't continue to produce other bodily effects that make me look that much less feminine in front of handsome foreign men.
|The innards of cacao|
If you are in the Puerto Viejo area and have an interest in going on this cacao tour I'd highly recommend it! Educational (I'm a nerd for learning new things), insightful, entertaining and delicious! They are called Caribeans Coffee and Chocolate and it's a little family-owned and operated cacao farm and chocolate making business. The best chocolate I've ever had...